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1) clive owen (handsome, accent... that's it)
2) vinnie jones (i LOVE anger...)
3) brad pitt (obvious)
4) colin firth (once again, here comes the accent)
i think that's it for now
i've finally found the comedian that i've been telling daniel about. really poorly, i might add. when trying to remember and tell jokes that i haven't seen/heard in a few years, i kinda suck. anyways, this is the comedian that i was trying to find: Mitch Hedberg. Here are some of his quotes that I found on wikipedia. enjoy them!
I was walking by a dry cleaner at three a.m., and it said "Sorry, we're closed." You don't have to be sorry. It's three a.m., and you're a dry cleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna walk by at ten and say, "Hey, I walked by at three, you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology. This jacket would be halfway done!"
I sit at my hotel at night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny. (that sounds just like me, god bless the lazy and procrastinators.)
I went camping once, and got into an argument with a girlfriend in the tent. This is a really bad place to get in an argument, because I walked out and attempted to "slam the flap." How are you supposed to express your anger in this type of situation? Zipper it up really quick? *Zipper Noise* ! Fuck you!
People used to think I was high on stage, because people associate long hair with drug use. I wish long hair was associated with something other than drug use. Like an extreme longing for cake. Then strangers would see a long haired guy and say, "That guy eats cake. He is on bunt cake." Mothers would say to their daughters, "Don't bring the cake eater over here anymore! He smells like flour. Did you see how excited he got when he heard your birthday was fast approaching?"
This is what my friend said to me; he said, "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." It's like,"Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're gonna quiz me, you have to insert a pause." (i love mashed taters)
I like to wave at people I don't know. It's dangerous to wave to someone you don't know cause what if they don't have a hand? They think you're cocky. "Look what I got motherfucker! This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick something up!"
I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's ALWAYS on time!
I like when they bring a comedian on stage, they always tell you what else they do. But fuck, this is enough, isn't it? He's here tonight performing, because that is his job! But no, it's gotta be, "He laid bricks in Philadelphia. And he repaired a car in Oklahoma. He has an umbrella store in Philadelphia. That's the only city that comes to mind right now. Philadelphia, 'cause you can say "Philly" and the people from Philadelphia will not get mad. Like if you say "Frisco," San Francisco people say, "Fuck off!" But if you say "Philly" they say, "Alright!" Because I don't always have time to say "Philadelphia." Sometimes I just need that word to be two syllables. Phil-a-del-phi-a. Fuck, five! Your town would be called Philly too if it had five syllables!
and that's it for now.
so yesterday, i check the mail before going out over to the guys' house to play some games and i get a bill and some crazy unmarked package. well, it's addressed to me but i don't remember ordering anything lately. i think nothing of it until i open it in the car and discover..... SOLID GOLD 80s DOUBLE DISC PACK! ohmygod... one of the best cd compilations i have EVER bought or received. seriously... this stuff is solid gold. anyways, i'll get back to the reason i am blogging right now.
<rant>
our next door neighbours with the stupid kick dog (NO, i will never kick a dog. but this is a small, PUNT-able dog) moved on saturday. i sent in an email to the head office last week in regards to animals and whether or not they were allowed on the premises. please note that i didn't say "my neighbours have a dog and it pisses me off." nope... just asked if animals were allowed. well, anyway... i have yet to receive a response and seriously doubt that i will. long story short- if they did have to move because the business that owns the apartments swooped down in a massive anti-animal movement (and they should, there a tons of cats in the building) and discovered their dog, well, that's too bad. i mean, i don't find too much enjoyment in someone getting evicted (that's just mean) but they did kinda deserve it. if the lease says no animals, then that means NO animals.
</rant>
You are as sexy as...A Coconut!
Hairy and full of milk. Does it really get any hotter then that!?
How Sexy Are You?, created by Ptocheia
i was just taking a quick look at the next week's television guide and found an ad for a "walk-in bathing" company. before i get started, let me just say that i am not poking fun at what is a great product. for those who have trouble moving, this is a self-esteem gift.
but now, back to the fun! i've decided, either with or without daniel's help, to take photos of myself in or around the bathtub (fully clothed, of course) AND the house... trying to come up with various things that may assist those with difficulty moving or just those who are lazy. brilliant! some may say (for the lazy) "why not just hire a maid/butler/personal assistant?" to them i say "pshah! those cost $$. my products are affordable and make it look like YOU have $$." my products will be blinged out to the MAXX.
ok, now that i've put that down in writing... it doesn't seem so cool. whatever man.
i am 100% sober. it might be the caffeine- i just had a DIET pepsi after one week without caffeine. one little slip-up. oh well. i didn't drink it all crayzazy (yes, i meant to do that) fast like i used to, nope... just drank it slow. one could say that i drank it at a medium pace. oh adam sandler. you were funny. now you are not.
what the crap? i should have been pregnant for the past two years! heaven forbid that someone should be feeling either A) bloated and crampy, B) just blah, or C) slightly overweight.
i've been wearing loose tops for the past two years because of all three of those reasons. some people don't like to wear tight tops to show off their pounds.
geebus. cut us -slightly overweighters- some slack, man.
i love love love having the bed all to myself for an hour when dan works at 7. but i miss having someone right beside me to either snuggle up to or poke with my cold toes.
i've decided to start looking at baby names. i know i know i know... we're not pregnant and not planning to be for at least three or so years... but hey, a little research never hurt, right?
speaking of babies, they've been a common theme for my past two nights' dreams.
night #1- i have a baby named mei'ala (pronounced "may-alah") throughout the entire dream, i'm breast-feeding. wrapping the baby in a blanket. taking her with me everywhere. when i wake up, i realize- wait a sec! i didn't burp her. i didn't change her diapers. etc etc etc.
night #2- less of a baby theme... but at the very end, steve, amy and madison come over to our place. (our place was new and huge) when i'm welcoming madison, i think to myself "i've got to start showing the other kid a bit more love"... but amy was still pregnant. dundundun. i figure this is some sort of pre-shadowing. everyone knows that i'm crazy about madison. i have a feeling that it might be a struggle to show the new kid the same sort of love. i doubt, though, that madison will have any sort of shortage in the family love department once "bruce" (that' still my vote for the new kid's name... if they don't use it, i AM calling it for our future son. that is, if dan and i do have a son.) comes along.
right right right... back to ME and my baby names that i like-
i am kinda fond of mei'ala now.
Kaitlyn; Kaleigh; okay... you know what? there are far too many names out there. i like these two for girls. now let's get to the boys!
Braden; Blair; Blake; Boyd; Bruce ::Surname since medieval times; now a common given name. Folklore tale of 14th century Robert King of Scotland: ('the Bruce') who learned the value of perseverance from watching a spider spin a web:: aha! see, i knew this name was gold!
wait... how about these for girls? Meghan; Lydia; Moira; Mollie; ok.. i think that's it for now. i mean it!
PS- check out MY name-
Karley
| Gender | Origins | Meanings | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Female | German | 'Womanly; strength.' Feminine of Karl. | |
| Female | Scandinavian | Womanly; strength. Feminine of Karl. |
you just need to move the titles over one space to the right.
i am feminine and i am powerful. ROAR. ahhaha.
i am a bad person and feel joy when hearing about some people's problems and miseries.
not horrible ones...like their puppy getting run over. or a family member getting cancer. ::i'm not trying to joke around about these two subjects, they are horrible and i would never wish them on anyone. i'm not that horrible::
but the kinda funny, tv series ones...like a boyfriend breaking up with them. or them getting the clap.
see? i am horrible.
but it's fun!
anyways.. back on track!
last night, before we went to bed, dan shocked the heck outta me! he asked me, very bluntly, if i wanted to have a baby. i was kinda stunned and silent for a moment. i asked him where it came from and he said that i was putting it out there for everyone to read. i didn't know what he was talking about until it clicked! the blog. whoops. oh well. not too many people read this- either those i know in "real" or "online" life. smeh, whatever.
anyway..... yes, i do want to have a baby. just not now. here's something that i find mildly amusing- dan would like for us to be married before we have a baby. that's crazy. well, not too crazy. considering he was raised in a somewhat conventional household. here's my take-
sometimes, i can see myself as being married... but more often than not, i don't. i just see myself (and dan) being in a loving relationship. i don't think that being married would make a big impact on a child's life... as long as their parents have a great relationship, then who cares?
one thing that does bother me about having a child is that since dan would prefer to wait until we were married (and better off finanically- that one i'm definately in agreement with. we DO need to make more money before having a child) .... that means that i may potentially "have to wait" until i am 30 or so before we even begin baby-making. remember? dan would like to be married or engaged by the time that i'm 30. i'm not waiting until i'm 32 to have a child. i think that 27 is my cut-off time. either we get pregnant together, or i have an "accident" with the birth control. but of course i'm not 100% meaning that. suprise births do happen, but i'm not going to risk our relationship by planning to get pregnant is dan is against it.
still... we of course have way more to talk about and consider.
OHOHOH...... we may be getting a cat soon. maybe 2 months or so. i've been looking at the cats on the calgary humane society and MEOW foundation websites. as much as i would prefer to get a kitten (they're just so darned cute!), i think that an older cat would be better. kittens are adopted maybe 4 to 1 over adult cats- that's just my guess, but it is probably WAY over that-. adult cats know what they're missing... and i'd love to have an oppurtunity to give an abandoned cat a second chance to be happy. ::cue sappy music::
anyways.... that's it for now.
wow... hello romance! dan told me last night that we would either be: A) married or B) engaged before I turn thirty.
then i started thinking... when i turn 30.... he'll be 28. OHMYGOD. then he'll turn 29 and we'll only be one year apart... for three months. oh christ. nope, i'm not aging anymore. i'll stay at 24 and that will be that.
one thing that i absolutely adore in our relationship is this- listening to him falling asleep in the after-glow. lying there in the dark. hearing his soft, deep breathing. paying attention to each intake and outtake. watching out for the little snoRRRRe that comes with every fourth breath. giggling when he shrugs my arm off of his side because i get too warm for skin-to-skin contact. trying not to touch my cold toes to the bottom of his feet. tickling his back to get the "cat arch" going. whispering "good night" & "i love you" and getting groggy "guhh nye" & "i lubb ew tuh" in return.
so there.
i'm sorry that i hurt your feelings. however, i'm not sorry that i wrote what i did. or rather.. well, you know what i mean. i didn't mean to upset you, but when i get like that i need to have an outlet. getting it off my chest means it doesn't stay in my head and percolate. it doesn't get to keep running and running around until it's ALL i can think about. writing helps. it heals, in a way. it may have an edge of self-destruction to it, but it does feel better when it all comes out.
caught in the up and down cycle. happy one moment. horribly sad the next. maybe i should go back to the meds. maybe i should start seeing a therapist. maybemaybemaybe. always a maybe, never a will.
1) lazy
2) overweight
3) know-it-all
4) uneducated
5) whiny
6) unbalanced
7) spiteful
8) sarcastic
9) unattractive
10) greedy
11) unfriendly
12) boring
and what else bothers me? people that feel the need to show just how learned they are by writing letters, emails, and notes with such supreme maturity and knowledge. fucking hell. most people do not talk like that in real so why the hell do they write like that? the only reason i feel i can rant about this is because i do both TALK and WRITE like that. i've been communicating like that since grade 7. so if i feel like showing someone just how serious i can come across, then i'm going to do it. but the girls that use the word "like" as often as they flip their precious faux-natural hair, they irritate the crap outta me. i have no problem with people who want to better themselves, but the ones who do it just to appear like they know what they're talking about, well that grinds my gears. if you're learning how to manipulate the english language to do your bidding, all the power to you. but if you just want to please daddy, fuck off, and write a letter just the way you speak. "like, oh my gawd! did you see that girl's shoes? they were so totally year. and oh my gawd- who does she think she's fooling? those are sooooo knockoffs."
wow.. do i sound bitter? YES.
okay and here's the truth. yes, i am intimidated by these women. yes, there are underlying factors here that i don't wish to bring up at the moment. blahblahblah
if i do breakdown, will you stay like you promised? you were so close to leaving, you didn't see it. i know that what is in the past should stay there and only be a lesson, but still it hurts.
you are betraying my trust by talking to her and not me. you flirt with others and not me. you say that you do it with everyone and that makes it okay. well, it's not okay. you know how insecure i am and yet you continue to behave the same with the people who make me feel unworthy.
writing these things is easier than saying them because i feel like you don't listen when i say them outloud. you shake them off and say "i know. it's ok. i'm sorry."
start acting like it. start acting like you do take my words for what they are- a cry for attention. for you to show me just how much you do love me. take action! take charge! say "screw you" to these people and let them go away.
if you do NEED to be friends with her, then fine. be friends. but not behind my back. oh no. that will never do. secrets such as that do not help relationships. i need to know that you want her back as a friend, not as a replacement to something i can't give you.
i'm sorry that i've put you into a position like this. you shouldn't have to choose between me and friends. why can't you just trust me and tell me these things? like i've said before- knowing about something is better than being in the dark. when i'm clueless to what's going on, i'm unhappy. i don't need to know every detail about your life, but if it's something that you know might upset or make me uncomfortable, then please please please tell me. as cliched as it is- sharing is caring. sharing your secrets with me shows that you care about me and my opinion. it shows trust.
tell me what you want me to do.
if you want me to shut up and just accept that you will do whatever you want and i can be damned, then fine. just say it. don't leave it up to me.
I saw an email the other day that was between Dan and an ex of his, R. It did upset me. Not only that he doesn't feel like he should tell me about them talking again, but that he misses talking with her because he felt that he could say anything. Fucking bullshit. I am your motherfucking girlfriend. If you can't tell me everything, then it's basically lying, right? Omitting to tell certain details does equal lying. He said that it's different with friends. OH MY GOD. I'm sorry, but if you can't me the truth, then what can you tell me? He says that he doesn't tell me certain things because he doesn't want to piss me off.
Number One- I do truly feel guilty for this. He should feel free to tell me whatever he needs to and I shouldn't act standoffish or pissy because he did. I should be happy that he tells me these things; Number Two- I will admit that I don't like hearing certain things, but this is because of what happened in September. He did do something that I asked him not to and it hurt. But oh well, right? That was the past and nothing changes that; Number Three- I don't like the fact that he can tell his EX-girlfriend things that he won't tell me. That really does hurt; Number Four- Um... what else.. I'm sorry that I get so crazy and upset. I know that it doesn't do us any good. It's my horrible way of saying that I'm insecure and want you to tell me more. Even if it does piss me off- who cares? I'm happy that you're telling me things. But, you probably won't tell me things anymore, right? I'm outside the circle of trust now.
I've started a list in my head of why I am one of the worst people in the world, when I hit reason #12, I'll share them with the world. YAY!
sounds like a deal.
oh geez, it's getting stronger. i'm only 23 (soon to be 24- eek) and already my clock is saying "C'mon, get'er done!" i don't know why, but recently (or err.. 3 months or so) babies have been on my mind. as is: i want a child. it's always in the back of my mind. i want a baby!!! i don't know why. dan and i really aren't in the best financial situation- which i will accept responsibility for. like jen said, i do have a shopping problem. but i'm working on it, really!
but, man oh man, i just can't stop thinking about how wonderful it would be to have a child. jen and i went to see "juno" last night at chinook and i was impressed with what i saw. the movie wasn't what i was expecting (something 100% upbeat) but i really enjoyed it. i had heard that jennifer garner's character redeems herself (although i don't know why she had to, i thought she nice... just a little uptight) but i had heard nothing about jason bateman's character. i really like this guy (bateman). i'm glad that he had such a great show to work on with arrested development. michael cera and he just had really great chemistry. ANYWAYS- back to the movie review. all i can say is that i was disappointed with jason bateman's character- not it wasn't well acted.. the person he portrayed let me down. but hush, i won't say another word- i'm very bad with giving things away in a movie.
- Location:work
- Mood:
mellow
geez dan. you need to pick up the pace. granted, with your birthday the day before valentines day, it is understandable why you would forget about it. but this year will be different- mark my words. i am going to drop NON subtle hints about valentines day. i don't want large or magnificent and glittery- just a card or flowers or chocolates. holy crap man, i'm your friggin' live-in girlfriend. you flippin' common-law spouse. WTF!
i guess that i could also put forth the valentines effort, but this year all efforts will be diverted towards your birthday.
so, we'll see. buy me fancy chocolate!
- Location:work
- Mood:
groggy - Music:vibe 98.5
tax season is around the corner once again and commercials are everywhere!
i just saw one that was a demo of sorts... one part showed how your family can save you money.
did you know that if you have a child, it can save you $2000 dollars in taxes? i could get a $2025 tax refund (theoretically) if i have a baby. well, dang- let's get started! just kidding, kinda.
dan and i have been talking more and more lately, however sporadically, about children (having our own) and marriage. granted, there is more emphasis on the baby part. i would be happy as a clam if we had a child but weren't married. marriage is usually overrated anyways. well.... almost everything about it is aside from the presents. mmm... countertop kitchenaid mixer!
- Location:home
- Mood:
cold - Music:intervention tv show
- Music:fiest- 1234
